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Signs of Resistance for someone in Recovery

Dr Harry Henshaw — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 19:08:44 +0000

Much of the process of recovery is about being in a dance, a dance of moving back and forth between resisting and surrendering. The dance will go on for awhile, if not forever. Knowing some of the signs of when you are in the part of the dance that is or could be a prelude to relapsing is important. Below are listed from of the signs of resistance for someone in recovery.

The person wanting to quit the recovery program.

Being out of communication with ones sponsor or counselor.

The person having major upsets in their lives that gets in the way of recovery.

Missing or being late for groups or meetings.

Missing or being late for calls with ones sponsor or counselor.

The person having many emergencies occuring that gets in the way of recovery.

The person becoming too busy, so busy that they are distracted from doing the work of recovery.

Never doing the homework assigned by the person’s sponsor or counselor.

Leaving the group or meeting to make phone call, go to the restroom, etc

Never sharing in groups or meeting.

Complaining about the groups, meetings, sponsor or counselor.

Not listening to what is going on in the groups or meetings.

Creating disruptions in the groups and meetings.

Falling asleep or being tired in the groups or meetings.

Being resistant or arguing about the topic or subject of the group or meeting.

The person leaving the group or meeting before it is finished.

The person creating a relationship early in the program of recovery.

It is important for the person to review their behavior on a daily basis, especially early in the process, and share with another any of the Red Flags that they may become present to.

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Weekly Homework for Individuals in Recovery.

Dr Harry Henshaw — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 16:39:55 +0000

Many individuals going into treatment for drug and alcohol dependency have questions about what to do when admitted to a program. While the opinions and suggestions given to them will vary from program to program and even person to person, the following are five things that someone can stay present to as they move through treatment.

1. To read and take notes from either the NA or AA text. In addition to needing to know what the program of recovery is truly about, it also important to take notes as one read either the Basic Text or the Big Book. There will be a tendency to forget, hence the need to take notes.

2. Attend AA or NA meetings daily. Attendance helps keep one in the conversation of recovery.

3. Work on and complete “Step One.” While the person will do it again once they get a sponsor after the treatment program, it is good practice to engage the process while in treatment.

4, Write out your “Counseling Agenda” each week before your counseling session. Having an agenda written down allows you to stay focused on what you need to talk about and work on and also creates the space for being responsible for your situation.

5. Work on and complete your “recovery plan” one week before your discharge. Having a plan helps to ensure that you will actually engage the program immediately upon your discharge. Having no written plan will usually amount to little action on the individual’s part.

The idea is to review these five things with the staff and especially with your counselor in order to evaluate your progress in the treatment program.

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Two ways to deal with Breakdowns in Recovery.

Dr Harry Henshaw — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:44:31 +0000

One way to effectively deal with a breakdown or upset, especially if it is creating the urge to drink or do drugs, is to talk with another human being. Keeping an upset to yourself or keeping it up in your head is a receipt for disaster. Something negative will probably happen to your if you do not share what is going on with you. This is why it is important to create a support network of people you can call, sponsor, therapist or friends in recovery.

The second way to begin to effectively deal with an upset or breakdown is to take a look at what you are not accepting about the situation, people, places or things. Most if not all upsets and breakdowns are about having something happen that we believe should not have happened even though it did. Our work, and it is work, is to accept what happened, to eventually get it that everything happens in the way it is supposed to happen. Our work is to take that on as a possibility and in the work to accept fully what we did not once accept.

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Our Nature as Human Being Involves Resistance.

Dr Harry Henshaw — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:50:13 +0000

As human beings we do not really want or like to change. We like for things to be the same, for us not to have to put forth much effect to have what we say we want. We do not want to change and even, will resist change especially if another human being attempts to help us. Yes, we do change but we have to first get it that we do not want to change. Accepting our resistance is important for the process. We must first accept the fact that we will resist change in order for us to take it into consideration in our planning to transform our lives. It is important for us to plan and to make goals but it is equally important for us to plan how we will resist the process, will resist our achieving the goals we set. Such planning gives us power to respond appropriately when needed.

In my work in recovery I counsel people in how to recognize when they are resisting, when they are doing things to counter the goals they set and say they want. Such insight is important and necessary if individuals are to say in the program of recovery. The resistance will also show up in the very suggestions that are given, by a sponsor or therapist. The tendency is not only to resist but to continue to do it his or her way, with the results usually the same, much of how it was in the past. Our tendency is to try to do things and life our way, even when we continue to get the same results.

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More Red Flags for Recovery

Dr Harry Henshaw — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 11:27:09 +0000

In addition to simply not wanting to pursue recovery and continue to use drugs or alcohol there are certain Red Flags that someone can see in themselves or another:

1. Becoming too busy in life to do the work of recovery.

2. Never doing the homework that is assigned by a sponsor or even a counselor.

3. Leaving groups or meetings to make phone calls, to go to the restroom, etc.

4. Never sharing in groups or meetings about themselves.

5. Always complaining about the groups, meetings, sponsor or counselor.

We will continue to identify more Red Flags for recovery. Once noticed it is important that they be shared with your sponsor or counselor.

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When is someone ready to transform his or her life?

Dr Harry Henshaw — Fri, 28 May 2010 00:46:20 +0000

The question of when is someone ready to transform his or her life is an important one to consider. Such a question is important for any therapist or sponsor to consider and contemplate. It is my opinion that a person is ready to transform their life when they are ready to do the work and become committed to the process. This does not mean that they will not resist the process as they definitely will resist. It does not mean that there will be no upsets or breakdowns during the person’s transformation because there will be, something that should be counted on happening. Resistance and breakdowns are part of the deal, part of the journey. In addition,a person is ready to transform his or her life when they begin to move their inquiry and focus to themselves and away from others, away from people, places and things, when they give up the blame and thinking that someone else is the cause of their life. A person is ready to transform their life when they start to assume responsibility for the life, for how they act, feel and think, for their very way of being.

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More Red Flags

Dr Harry Henshaw — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:04:29 +0000

There are many Red Flags for one who is in the process of recovery. In addition to not communicating with ones sponsor, other Red Flags are missing or being late for meetings, becoming to busy for recovery work, never doing the homework assigned by a sponsor or therapist, never sharing in meetings, complaining about the meeetings, a sponsor or counselor, creating disruptions in meetings, not listening to those sharing in meetings, falling asleep or being tired in meetings, being resistant or arguing about the topic or subject of the meeting and leaving the meeting before it is finished. Part of the work of a counselor or sponsor is to coach the addict into recognizing the Red Flags as they appear in his or her behavior and how to communicate the Red Flag to another person, specifically his or her sponsor or counselor.

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Red Flags for Recovery

Dr Harry Henshaw — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:52:57 +0000

A person will either resist or surrender to the process of recovery. The dance between the two will continue. Knowing or becoming aware of when a person is resisting can assist him in staying in recovery and not relapsing. The Red Flags for Recovery was created to assist those in recovery to be able to check out their behavior, what they are doing that would indicate that they are creating the process that will eventually end in relapse. One of the Red Flags is being out of communication with a person’s sponsor or counselor. Staying in touch or communication with a sponsor is vital to the person recovery. Such a Red Flag will also appear as missing or being late for calls with a sponsor or counselor.

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