A blog by Dr. Harry Henshaw
Posts tagged sponsor
Two ways to deal with Breakdowns in Recovery.
Sep 1st
One way to effectively deal with a breakdown or upset, especially if it is creating the urge to drink or do drugs, is to talk with another human being. Keeping an upset to yourself or keeping it up in your head is a receipt for disaster. Something negative will probably happen to your if you do not share what is going on with you. This is why it is important to create a support network of people you can call, sponsor, therapist or friends in recovery.
The second way to begin to effectively deal with an upset or breakdown is to take a look at what you are not accepting about the situation, people, places or things. Most if not all upsets and breakdowns are about having something happen that we believe should not have happened even though it did. Our work, and it is work, is to accept what happened, to eventually get it that everything happens in the way it is supposed to happen. Our work is to take that on as a possibility and in the work to accept fully what we did not once accept.
Our Nature as Human Being Involves Resistance.
Jul 30th
As human beings we do not really want or like to change. We like for things to be the same, for us not to have to put forth much effect to have what we say we want. We do not want to change and even, will resist change especially if another human being attempts to help us. Yes, we do change but we have to first get it that we do not want to change. Accepting our resistance is important for the process. We must first accept the fact that we will resist change in order for us to take it into consideration in our planning to transform our lives. It is important for us to plan and to make goals but it is equally important for us to plan how we will resist the process, will resist our achieving the goals we set. Such planning gives us power to respond appropriately when needed.
In my work in recovery I counsel people in how to recognize when they are resisting, when they are doing things to counter the goals they set and say they want. Such insight is important and necessary if individuals are to say in the program of recovery. The resistance will also show up in the very suggestions that are given, by a sponsor or therapist. The tendency is not only to resist but to continue to do it his or her way, with the results usually the same, much of how it was in the past. Our tendency is to try to do things and life our way, even when we continue to get the same results.
More Red Flags for Recovery
Jun 12th
In addition to simply not wanting to pursue recovery and continue to use drugs or alcohol there are certain Red Flags that someone can see in themselves or another:
1. Becoming too busy in life to do the work of recovery.
2. Never doing the homework that is assigned by a sponsor or even a counselor.
3. Leaving groups or meetings to make phone calls, to go to the restroom, etc.
4. Never sharing in groups or meetings about themselves.
5. Always complaining about the groups, meetings, sponsor or counselor.
We will continue to identify more Red Flags for recovery. Once noticed it is important that they be shared with your sponsor or counselor.
When is someone ready to transform his or her life?
May 28th
The question of when is someone ready to transform his or her life is an important one to consider. Such a question is important for any therapist or sponsor to consider and contemplate. It is my opinion that a person is ready to transform their life when they are ready to do the work and become committed to the process. This does not mean that they will not resist the process as they definitely will resist. It does not mean that there will be no upsets or breakdowns during the person’s transformation because there will be, something that should be counted on happening. Resistance and breakdowns are part of the deal, part of the journey. In addition,a person is ready to transform his or her life when they begin to move their inquiry and focus to themselves and away from others, away from people, places and things, when they give up the blame and thinking that someone else is the cause of their life. A person is ready to transform their life when they start to assume responsibility for the life, for how they act, feel and think, for their very way of being.