Tag Archives: counselor

Taking on Transforming My Life and My Self Limiting Belief

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Recently I have taken on changing my vocation.  In the recent past I have always practiced counseling.  While I still believe that such a profession is a good one and in the past one that has given me a lot of satisfaction, I have decided to change, to move in another direction. Being both a counselor or musician, I have decided to take on creating and marketing my music to the world and on a full time basis.  Such a venture has always excited me, at least having the possibility of it, but in the past I have had the belief that I could not make a living by such a venture.  It has been my beliefs about myself and my ability that have held me back from finding out about my ability to make a living at my music.  I now have this awareness in how I was stopped by myself and more important how it continues to try to stop me.

Within the past three months I have made the decision to move forward with my dream, to create the possibility of creating, marketing and selling my music to the world and have this be my source of income for myself.  What I did was take on working in the counseling field part time and have this be a source of income to help me through the transition.  What was once my part time job, so to speak, is now my more than full time job, music.  As I have been doing the work of the new venture I am experiencing many challenges, facing and learning new things that I have never known about.  The learning curve is very steep, requiring me to face things that I do not know and learn them as I move forward.

As I take on this new venture I am very present to the self talk that I have running in my head, the voice that I hear at times, the voice telling  me that I can not do this, that it will not work, that I will fail.  Part of my work now, and I know it now, is to listen to this voice, acknowledge it, and then continue to move forward. Even given the negative nature of my self talk I am continuing to create the possibility of what I want to have happen.  My self limiting belief about myself will continue to be there as it has been in the past and by recognizing my feeling state know when it is trying to take control of my way of being and merely create the possibility of who I want to now be.  I can not change the self limiting belief that I have but merely create a new possibility for myself as apart of my transformation.

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Wisdom from The Peaceful Warrior about our Transformation

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

The work of Dan Millman is very powerful for assisting a person in transforming his or her life.  In my work as a counselor I introduce all of the clients to “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” both as a book and as the movie. The movie and book are about a person who learns about never giving up and in the process begins a process of transforming his life. The process is about becoming present to that which a person was not present to, to certain distinctions that once considered began to alter his life forever.

Below are listed some of the important distinctions that are presented in the movie and book.

1. Knowledge and wisdom.  Knowledge is knowing something and Wisdom is doing it. Knowing what transformation is about is one thing and having wisdom is to practice it everyday life.

2. Highest purpose is for us to be of service to others.  Assisting other human beings is part of the process of transformation.

3. “Take out the trash”. A person’s Trash is the thoughts in your mind that keeps you out of the moment. The work of the Warrior is to practice letting go of the Trash in ones mind in order to keep you fully in the moment and as a result engaged in the process of transformation.

4. We are afraid of what is inside. The only place to find what you need is inside you. The experience of fear/being scared is about being empty. The work of the Warrior is to go inside and face ones fear directly, to not run from it.

5. Are you paying attention to your life? Are you present to what is going on, to what you are experiencing now.

6. What are you holding onto that keeps you stuck in life.  Who are you without your problems and issues? Practice of letting go of what you are holding onto that keeps you stuck. Give up your attachments to people, place and things that hinder your transformation and keep you enslaved to the past.

7. “Not knowing” is the first principle of a Warrior. Getting this allows one to be and remain teachable, open to learning.  Practice “not knowing” when you are out in life.

8. There are no ordinary moments. There is always something going on. Pay attention to the present or now. Getting that there are no ordinary moments and that there is always something going on keeps us completely grounded in the present, in the Now. When we get this we experience that all moments are extraordinary.

9. Give up the Good-Bad, Right-Wrong way of thinking about yourself and others. Making wrong and passing judgment will only hinder your transformation. The work is about acceptance, acceptance of self and others.

10. Happiness is about your journey and not the destination. Staying focused on the journey allows you to stay in transformation, staying focused on the destination will only create the space for you to get out of your transformation.

The work of a Warrior is to live the distinctions presented, to bring them forth in ones life, to fully practice wisdom. Implementation of the distinctions will result in one being fully accountable and responsible for his or her life. The work of a Warrior is about being fully present in the now, moment and life, that that is who we truly are.  Living the distinctions will take ones transformation to a new dimension.

What time is it? Now.

Where are you? Here.

Who are you? This moment.

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Signs of Resistance for someone in Recovery

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Much of the process of recovery is about being in a dance, a dance of moving back and forth between resisting and surrendering.  The dance will go on for awhile, if not forever.  Knowing some of the signs of when you are in the part of the dance that is or could be a prelude to relapsing is important.  Below are listed from of the signs of resistance for someone in recovery.

The person wanting to quit the recovery program.

Being out of communication with ones sponsor or counselor.

The person having major upsets in their lives that gets in the way of recovery.

Missing or being late for groups or meetings.

Missing or being late for calls with ones sponsor or counselor.

The person having many emergencies occuring that gets in the way of recovery.

The person becoming too busy, so busy that they are distracted from doing the work of recovery.

Never doing the homework assigned by the person’s sponsor or counselor.

Leaving the group or meeting to make phone call, go to the restroom, etc

Never sharing in groups or meeting.

Complaining about the groups, meetings, sponsor or counselor.

Not listening to what is going on in the groups or meetings.

Creating disruptions in the groups and meetings.

Falling asleep or being tired in the groups or meetings.

Being resistant or arguing about the topic or subject of the group or meeting.

The person leaving the group or meeting before it is finished.

The person creating a relationship early in the program of recovery.

It is important for the person to review their behavior on a daily basis, especially early in the process, and share with another any of the Red Flags that they may become present to.

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More Red Flags for Recovery

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

In addition to simply not wanting to pursue recovery and continue to use drugs or alcohol there are certain Red Flags that someone can see in themselves or another:

1.  Becoming too busy in life to do the work of recovery.

2.  Never doing the homework that is assigned by a sponsor or even a counselor.

3.  Leaving groups or meetings to make phone calls, to go to the restroom, etc.

4.  Never sharing in groups or meetings about themselves.

5.  Always complaining about the groups, meetings, sponsor or counselor.

We will continue to identify more Red Flags for recovery.  Once noticed it is important that they be shared with your sponsor or counselor.

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Being Inauthentic as a Counselor

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

At times it will appear as though my life and what I do in my efforts to assist others is very inauthentic. At times I do not stay consistent with the work that I suggest to others. Lately I have gotten very present to the inauthentic nature of my way of being and how it will show up in my profession. I strive to not pretend and to not hide out when I am with others. Part of staying and being authentic is staying grounded in the present, the Now. This can be difficult especially as we make it that way with our thoughts and word. It can be easy to get caught up in something that has little to do with being in the present or moment. At times i get consumed thinking about my future, what it will be like and wondering if I can manage it, something that has not happened yet. Or I tend to wonder back into the past. Whether I experience anxiety or guilt I leave the only thing that I have that is real, the present. It is this staying present that I believe is part of the fundamental connection to God, to the Source, to that from which all that is real and true comes.

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Red Flags for Recovery

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

A person will either resist or surrender to the process of recovery. The dance between the two will continue. Knowing or becoming aware of when a person is resisting can assist him in staying in recovery and not relapsing. The Red Flags for Recovery was created to assist those in recovery to be able to check out their behavior, what they are doing that would indicate that they are creating the process that will eventually end in relapse. One of the Red Flags is being out of communication with a person’s sponsor or counselor. Staying in touch or communication with a sponsor is vital to the person recovery. Such a Red Flag will also appear as missing or being late for calls with a sponsor or counselor.

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