Tag Archives: being

Who I am is the Possibility of Acceptance.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

The question for us is always, who will we be.  Who am I?  It is not only what will we think, although that is very important.  It is always a question of our being, who will we be.  The transformation is about our entire existence, mind, body and especially our spirit.

From the past we have been being someone, a self we created early, as a child.  This story has directed our life, much of our behavior has been about validating this self, making it true and real.  This self exists as a statement, a belief or thought about who we are, who we are in life and in the world.

Part of my work is to stay aware of, to stay present to my possibility.  The new self is a possibility, something that does not always exist.  It exists when I am practicing my word, when I am affirming myself as that possibility.  The possibility will come and then it will pass out of existence.  My work is to continue to affirm, both in my word and act, that I am being the possibility of acceptance. Acceptance of what is, at any moment, giving up the struggle of my past that’s design is to make me wrong, to make me not good enough.

Here is where the work of using positive affirmations is so very important.  Using positive affirmations allows the ability to reinvent ourselves when are saying and being them.  The positive affirmation creates the  possibility for us to be different, to be a new you, to recreate yourself a new.  While we will resist this particular type of work, the end result of using positive affirmation will be transformation.

Fantasia with Positive Affirmations for Improving Self Esteem

Fantasia with Positive Affirmations for Self Love


Creating a New Self is the Way to Transform a Breakdown.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

The fourth component of Holistic Counseling involves creating a possibility or new self given the breakdown experience.  This powerful act of creation can be to develop a new view of oneself or get back into previously chosen possibility or goal of who you want to be in life.  Creating possibilities or a new self can be life transforming.  However, once we are convinced that we are being our self limiting belief, that the source of the breakdown is the self limiting belief and not that which the story tends convey, it is at that moment that we can develop a new self or possibility to be at that moment, a new self given the breakdown experience.  It is by creating a new self or possibility by our spoken word that the experience itself will begin to transform.  The breakdown only happens because of who we are being. It is by causing a new self to come into existence through our word that our inadequate way of being will begin to completely dissolve and with it the breakdown itself. It is with the creation of a new self or possibility that the person’s power and freedom are once again restored.

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Holistic Counseling and Transforming Ones Life.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Holistic Counseling is about assisting another to transform his life. Transforming ones life is not about changing it. While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought of who he thinks he is.

We tend to believe that our life is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this is not so. Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation.

What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what we think and believe about ourselves. Furthermore, we believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not. Much of who we are really being we are simply not present to. Much of our life is spent in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.

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Three Principles of the Daily Homework.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw
What follows are the first three principles of the Daily Homework.  Bringing them into your life will help to transform you, to transform your life and way of being.
1. To take complete ownership and responsibility for your life. Understand that you have created and chosen your life the way it is occurring. You are the cause of what you experience and your life.
2. Watch your word! Stay present to what you think and say. Choose to say positive things about yourself and others. What you think and say creates your experiences of how life will occur and be for you.
3. Practice your Self Affirmations and Possibilities everyday. Say your Self Affirmations and Possibilities in the morning, throughout the day and before bedtime.

Learning how to take care of ourselves requires making appropriate distinctions about ourselves, others and life in general.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Learning how to take care of ourselves also involves making appropriate distinctions about ourselves, others and life in general. One distinction that is crucial for our well being is realizing how and from where much of our stress is primarily generated. While some of the stressors that we face are apart of what it is to be a human being, much of the stress that we experience is of our own creation. A great deal of the stress that we experience has its origin in our own personal story and the meaning we make about life, in the thoughts that we think. Once we understand that we are truly the cause, that we are responsible for the thoughts that we create or invent and that it is from these thoughts that much of our stress is generated, then and only then will we begin to be able to truly manage our stress and have the power to live the life that we want and love. Blaming others or situations for that which we experience will only limit our power, lead to frustration and eventually a great deal of stress.

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Taking Care of Yourself is important.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Living in our world today can be very stressful. While some of the stress that we experience is actually useful for motivating us, a point can be reached where it becomes very harmful, physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Knowing how to manage and even reduce the harmful effects of stress on a daily basis, of staying balanced and centered as we encounter the many stressors of everyday living, is crucial to our well being. Among other things, taking care of ourselves will necessarily involve us nurturing our physical body, of eating healthy foods, of exercising. Learning how to take care of ourselves in this respect is also very important for everyone as our experience of stress can and does affect others as well.

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The Power of Witnessing a Passing

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Last thursday I had the honor of witnessing the passing of someone very dear to me.  Last thursday my mother passed and I able to witness it.  I was there to watch her pass, to watch her take her last breath.  An extraordinary woman who gave birth to me, who watched me take my first breath, I was given the honor of watching her take her last.  For someone that I never imagined would pass, she did.

One of the things that I again became present to is the notion of impermanence. As Dan Milman once wrote in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, everything changes, nothing stays the same.  We sometimes believe and act as if we will live forever. We do not really get that change is the only constant, that we too will change physically and eventually pass.  We enhance the power of our being by getting that life is fragile and that we need to live it from the notion that our life will eventually go out of existence, that we too will pass.

When we live life from the perspective of impermanence we act and behave differently.  For me it is about being of service, of creating for the benefit of others, to do for others in order to enhance their life.  I know that I too will eventually pass.  Until then my life will be about service to others.

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Commitment is key to transforming your life.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Staying committed to changing your life is so important.  Commitment is key to transforming your life.  Once we decide what we have to change in our life, in our way of being, to be different, we make the changes in how we do life.  But to keep the transformation in place takes a great deal of commitment, commitment to staying the course, to staying present to the path, to not give up when the course appears problematic and doubt appears.  Changing our life usually also involves creating a structure or routine that will enable the transformation to evolve or emerge.  Staying present to and committed to the structure or schedule will enable us to continue altering our life.  It is inside a structure, schedule or routine that we will change our life, to create new habits from which to live differently and more authentically.

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Positive Affirmations can transform!

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

I believe that who we are or who we are being is merely the words that we have in our mind.  The words or language that exists in our mind defines who we are in the world.  It also guides and determines much of our behavior, what we do in the world, with others and towards ourselves.  If we are to change our state of being, who we have been being, we need to change the words and language that exists in our mind.  One way to do this is through the constant use of positive affirmations.  Many if not all of the individuals in recovery, esp early in recovery, have very negative language or words that make up their daily existence.  Positive affirmations, more specifically, the constant and repetitious use of positive affirmations will change a person’s state of being and actually make a difference in the recovery process for that person.   It is recommended that individuals in recovery explore and start to utilize the technology of positive affirmations.

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On the Edge of Language

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Transformation is about altering ones state of existence or being. Part of this work is about changing your thoughts and beliefs. Part of this work is also about getting it that the language we use to communicate with others and ourselves is involved in this process too. When we communicate through langugae, words, we make distinctions where there were no distinctions before. At where we are at the moment, this experience itself can be truly transforming. However, at some point the distinctions that language makes that enables us to have breakthroughs could hinder our transformation. True Being, God if you will, or whatever word best works for you, is about unity, about no distinctions. When we start to get this, then we start to move to the edge of language, getting that our words, when spoken or written, keep the illusion of separateness alive. In moments of experiencing true unity there will be no language or words.

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