Tag Archives: acceptance

When Possibility happens your Self Limiting Belief may rise up.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

As I go about creating possibility for myself and my life, I am filled with so many emotions.  These feelings seem, at times, to coexist inside my mind and body.  Happiness and elation along side fear and dread.  For the most part, I am able to manage this internal dance that takes place, the movement back and forward from one emotion to the other and then back again.  The end result has always been that I am able to stay in the conversation of possibility.

It seems that as I am creating possibility in somewhat small steps, the negative emotions and self limiting belief appear manageable.  However, when possibility begins to appear as something truly extraordinary something else start to happen.  When my creation seems as though it could move from something rather small to something very large, the emotional state changes as well.  The  emotional state shifts from one of being primarily positive to one that has a very negative cast to it.

Last night that happened to me.  In conversation about the possibility of my creation was starting to be played big, no longer small as it had been in the past.  The negative emotions began to almost instantly arise within me as soon as the conversation turned to expanding the creation.  I know that what happened within me last night was my sense of deservability starting to arise and with it the internal dialogue of me not being enough and nothing ever turns out good.  I was experiencing a sense of not deserve the expansion.

My only answer is to sit with the experience and resist creating a story about it.  It is creating a story about the experience that will drive me further and further into the negative state.  Even in the face of this negative emotional state I have to continue to pursue the conversation of possibility, of playing large.  I must push through the belief that I do not deserve that which is starting to appear for me.  In addition, I must continue to meditate on my positive affirmation of being the possibility of acceptance and creation.

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Who I am is the Possibility of Acceptance.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

The question for us is always, who will we be.  Who am I?  It is not only what will we think, although that is very important.  It is always a question of our being, who will we be.  The transformation is about our entire existence, mind, body and especially our spirit.

From the past we have been being someone, a self we created early, as a child.  This story has directed our life, much of our behavior has been about validating this self, making it true and real.  This self exists as a statement, a belief or thought about who we are, who we are in life and in the world.

Part of my work is to stay aware of, to stay present to my possibility.  The new self is a possibility, something that does not always exist.  It exists when I am practicing my word, when I am affirming myself as that possibility.  The possibility will come and then it will pass out of existence.  My work is to continue to affirm, both in my word and act, that I am being the possibility of acceptance. Acceptance of what is, at any moment, giving up the struggle of my past that’s design is to make me wrong, to make me not good enough.

Here is where the work of using positive affirmations is so very important.  Using positive affirmations allows the ability to reinvent ourselves when are saying and being them.  The positive affirmation creates the  possibility for us to be different, to be a new you, to recreate yourself a new.  While we will resist this particular type of work, the end result of using positive affirmation will be transformation.

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Negative Emotions are from our Past.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Many of us live in negativity, in having negative emotions.  We experience negative emotions, sometimes more and sometimes less throughout the day.  These negative emotions, call them fear, anger, sadness, guilt, etc., are emotions that are created by us from the past and then allowed to enter and even rule our present day state of existence.  For some of us, we live in them, unable at times, to escape the pain that we experience as a result of having them.  Eventually we start to believe that they define us, and even, that we will have them forever, that they are apart of our very existence.

To heal the negative emotional constraints of the past can be difficult work.  Sometimes we are not sure how to do it.  And sometimes, even when we do know what to do, we slip back into having them in our life.  For some there is even a pay off for continuing to have them in our daily life.  However, when we finally decide to let go of the negative emotions that cause us pain we are left with forgiveness and acceptance.

Forgiveness is merely letting go of that which happened.  Acceptance is getting that what happened happened the way that it was supposed to happen and that nothing ultimately is or was wrong.  Given this perspective, everything happens in divine order, the way that it is supposed to happen.  Our work is to not get attached to it, to what happened, to let it go, and to understand fully that is happened as it was supposed to happen.  Acceptance may very well be the answer to all of our problems.

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10 Essentials for Health and Wellness

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

The following are 10 Essentials for Health and Wellness:

1.  Breathe Deeply

2.  Drink Water

3.  Sleep Peacefully

4. Eat Nutritiously

5. Enjoy Activity

6.  Give and Receive love

7.  Be forgiving

8. Practice Gratitude

9.  Develop acceptance

10.  Develop a Relationship with God

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The Process of Saying Goodbye through Acceptance.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

It has been eight weeks now since my mother has passed.  While I think of her every day that goes by, the process of saying goodbye is just that, a process.  I am coming to accept, slowly as it may be, that she is gone and that I will never speak to or be with her ever again.  While in many ways I do not believe that I have fully come to terms with what has happened, I am finding comfort in a concept that I was introduced to to in recovery, that of acceptance.  My work is to stand in the space of acceptance.

While the process of saying goodbye is still painful it is assisted by accepting that what happened did happen in the way that it was supposed to happen.  It was perfect, perfect cause it happened in God’s world.  My work, as difficult as it may be at times, is about coming to terms with what happened, of learning to accept it fully, not make anything wrong about the process and knowing that it happened as it was intended to happen.  Acceptance is about accepting that my mother passed in the way that she did and that it could not have been any other way.

Everyday is about saying goodbye to my mother, being gratitude that she brought me into the world, that she was there for me in so many ways and that she loved me without condition.

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The Acceptance of a Passing.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

On July 1st my mother passed.  I was there to witness it, to witness her taking her last breathe.  I feel honored to have been there.  This is was loving woman, my mother, who brought me into the world.  I had the honor of witnessing her leaving it.

The emotions and feelings over the past seven weeks have been many.  I miss her, I am sad beyond words.  I at times will call her house, and leave a message on the answering machine as if she will answer it, knowing full well she will not.  I know it is about my grieving process and I know that this is what I have to do to heal myself.  The loss is, along with the passing of my father, one the biggest things that I have ever experienced.

While difficult as it may be, I know that I will come to accept it, to know that it happened in divine order.  The passing of my mother is the way that it was meant to be, and my work is to accept it completely.  My acceptance will not take away the love I have for her, that will remain with me forever.  My work is simply to surrender to her passing, as I eventually must to my own when it happens.

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Creating Life from the Possibility of Acceptance.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

One of the most powerful of principles is that of acceptance.  Acceptance creates possibility in your life.  For me acceptance is the key to recovery and transformation.  It is that from which we experience of sense of serenity and peace, and with it our power as human beings.  Without acceptance we are at the mercy of life happening.

Below is one of the most powerful passages that exists.  The passage on acceptance comes from the Big Book, page 449 in the third edition and 417 in the fourth edition.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life  - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober, unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.  I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

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Acceptance is the key to transformation

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Acceptance is the answer to all of our problems.  Our power comes from accepting people, places and things as they are, not as we would like them to be.  The struggle of life is the result of trying to make things, people and places out to be the way that we think they should or ought to be.  When we give up the desire to make things and people as we want to them to be we restore our power, we put ourselves in alignment with reality  Our power comes from accepting reality as reality is, not how we want it to be.  We have no control over others, only ourselves.  We can practice acceptance, as that is in our control.  Accepting people, places and things as they are and as they are not.  To accept is to transform our life.

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Acceptance and Counseling

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Part of my practice of counseling is to stay present to the practice of acceptance. While our tendency is to make others wrong, to find fault with others, in what they say and do, my practice is to accept that which is presented to me. When a client shares my practice is to listen without judgement, to listen from a space where nothing is wrong, to listen from a space that he or she is doing the best that they can at the moment and the journey is about learning more, learning how to do things differently and more in alignment with loving the self and others. My practice is not about changing anyone as only the person can do that. My practice is about having a conversation with the person about how they create their life and how they do that from the thoughts that they have. It is from my thoughts, my thoughts about myself and my thoughts about others, my clients included, that I live my life. Acceptance is about accepting others for who they are and who they are not. Acceptance is about getting that everyone is perfect, whole and complete.

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Practicing Patience for those in Recovery can make a difference.

Posted on by Dr Harry Henshaw

Practicing Patience is part of the Daily Homework.

Practice patience daily! Remember that you are doing the best you can. At the moment that we do anything we do the best that we can. When you know more, you will do things differently. Remember to also do this in regards to others too.

Practicing patience is about acceptance. Acceptance of yourself. It is about accepting where you are and also, where you are not. We are doing the best that we can at any moment of our life. When we act or do something we are doing the best that we are capable of at that moment. While we may want to do things differently in the future and will do so with learning, accepting that we are doing the best at any moment allows us to avoid the harm created by guilt and as a result to begin to transform our life.

Furthermore, it is very liberating and freeing to practice patience with another person. They too are doing the best that they can, at any moment. Accepting that other people are doing the best that they can at any one moment allows us to not only connect with that person as to purpose in life but enable us to give up frustration and even anger towards them. With patience we can begin to transform our life through accepting another for who they are and who they are not.

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