Enhanced Healing Blog by Dr. Harry Henshaw

March 2010
Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
<< <		> >>
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31

Search

Linkblog

Recovery from Drugs and Alcohol

Acceptance and Counseling
Part of my practice of counseling is to stay present to the practice of acceptance. While our tendency is to make others wrong, to find fault with others, in what they say and do, my practice is to accept that which is presented to me. When a client shares my practice is to listen without judgement, to listen from a space where nothing is wrong, to listen from a space that he or she is doing the best that they can at the moment and the journey is about learning more, learning how to do things differently and more in alignment with loving the self and others. My practice is not about changing anyone as only the person can do that. My practice is about having a conversation with the person about how they create their life and how they do that from the thoughts that they have. It is from my thoughts, my thoughts about myself and my thoughts about others, my clients included, that I live my life. Acceptance is about accepting others for who they are and who they are not. Acceptance is about getting that everyone is perfect, whole and complete.
Acknowledgement as a Source of Recovery and Transformation
Acknowledgement is part of the Daily Homework.

Acknowledge yourself and others daily. Acknowledge the miracles in your life. Pracing affirming that every moment of your life is a miracle.

Practice acknowledging yourself throughout the day. Focus on the positive things that you are doing. Focus on the positive things that you are creating for yourself and your life. What you focus on will expand and grow and become what you are up to and about.

When negative thoughts appear merely acknowledge their existence but let them go, giving them no extended time. When negative thoughts appears merely acknowledge their existence and then create a positive thought in your mind. Do not resist the negative. What we resist persists, as Jung once said.

Life is a miracle. When we start to experience the miracle of life our life will transform.
Being Easily Influenced as a Source of Concern
Some in recovery complain that they are easily influenced and that this is and has been a problem for them. It is as though they believe that others have some control or power over them and that they are easily influenced in what they do and think in life. The truth is that being easily influenced is a cover up for what is really going on. Being easily influenced is about wanting and trying to please other people, inorder to get the other person to like the person who does the pleasing. Doing what the other person wants, requests or demands inorder to get them to like and accept the person is what being eaily influcenced is really about. Pleasing others is not about the other person but more about the person himself, about fixing the person. If I am easily influenced then I am really trying to please another person, inorder to fix myself, to feel good about me. It is all about me regardless of whether I say so or not.
Being Gratiful For What We Have !
The work of transformation is about learning to alter or change your way of thinking and of how you see yourself and the world. The work of transformation is about being gratiful for what you have. Many times people are not gratiful for what they have or have had. Yesterday I sold my home that I had lived in for seven years. On my way out of the house for the last time I turned and thanked the house for what it had done and been for me. I got at that moment that the house had come into my life and had been of assistance to me, greatly, at time in my life when I needed alot of assistance. The house gave me many things, safe haven being only one of them. Knowing that this would be the last time I would be in the house as its owner, I thanked the house for everything that it had done for me, for keeping me safe and letting be start to grow again. I am very gratiful for the house that I lived in and that I was now letting go of.
Creating a Relationship Early in Recovery
One of the major Red Flags and causes of relapse is the creating of a relationship early in recovery. Even though many individuals are coached to avoid creating relationships in early recovery, many ignore the suggestion and do it anyway. When a person comes into recovery he or she is in a depressed emotional state. Intentional focus should be directed towards or upon the individual alone, upon the person figuring out how one is sourcing his or her experiences into life. This will require an inner journey. Most likely this journey will not be one of pleasure or joy. If a person creates a relationship early in recovery the work will most likely not take place. In addition to the focus now being upon the relationship and not the individual, the pain that must be looked into will be avoided, rather taking on the pleasure of a relationship, esp the sexual aspects of a relationship. If given a choice we will, as human animals, move towards pleasure and will avoid pain. Part of recovery requires that pain be faced and moved into and not avoided. Creating a relationship early in recovery is a major Red Flag.
Group Counseling and Recovery
My style of doing group counseling with those in recovery, especially in the early stages of recovery, is to be more directive and even didactic. It is important to get that the addicts thought process is what created their life situation and it is their thought process that is the key to their recovery. If left to its own current level of functioning, that is, with respect to both the process and content, the addict will most likely use again, and relapse after discharge. To confront the addict's thoughts and thinking process in way that does not appear as an attack on their self is very important. The separation of the client or self and their way of thinking is an important one to make as a therapist and with the client. While the client it not his or her thoughts or thinking process, it is their thinking pattern that is directing their life and as a result creating their addiction, or atleast bringing the drugs and alcohol into their life. It is their thoughts and thinking process that must change inorder for recovery to be successful.
Having an Agenda in Counseling
When a client comes to me to engage in the counseling process I always have an initial conversation about having an agenda. An agenda is about having something specific to discuss in the counseling session. This something is something that the client wants to work on and achieve some sort of resolution to by the end of the counseling session. Consistently having an agenda ready for the session, after the initial session, is a statement about the person's commitment and intention for the process of counseling, to their willingness to change. If the individual comes to a session with no agenda then that person is not ready or willing to work on any particular problem in his or her life during the session. Furthermore, there is no sense of responsibility on the person's part for wanting to resolve certain parts of his or her life. I have this conversation about having an agenda both for individual and group counseling sessions.
Importance of Positive Self Esteem for Recovery
Along with a dependency upon drugs and/or alcohol I also experience very poor self esteem in those who come to treatment or for counseling. Poor self esteem is one of the major problems that most if not all addicts have to deal with. It is part of an addicts depression. I have found that the belief of "not being good enough" is present in all addicts. If this problem is not openly and directly changed much of what the person has done with his life will be duplicated. I believe that our life is lived from one central source, the view that we have about ourselves, our self image. If that self image is not positive but rather a negative one then the individual's life will be the same, negative in nature. Once a person starts to change his or her self image and to the point of thinking positively about oneself then their life will truly transform, deleting the need for drugs and/or alcohol.
It is about Choice !
Much of the recovery process is about choice. It is a choise to do recovery, to go to meetings and work with a sponsor. It is a choice to do readings of recovery material, to have conversations about recovery with others and to assist others in recovery. When we do not take on choice as what it is about, we are attempting to not be in responsibility for something that is happening to us in our life. If we do not acknowledge that we are always making or having a choice in what we experience we will tend to believe that something is happening to us as opposed to us creating or sourcing it into our life. Taking on choice as what it is about is very powerful and keeps us in our responsibility.
More Red Flags
There are many Red Flags for one who is in the process of recovery. In addition to not communicating with ones sponsor, other Red Flags are missing or being late for meetings, becoming to busy for recovery work, never doing the homework assigned by a sponsor or therapist, never sharing in meetings, complaining about the meeetings, a sponsor or counselor, creating disruptions in meetings, not listening to those sharing in meetings, falling asleep or being tired in meetings, being resistant or arguing about the topic or subject of the meeting and leaving the meeting before it is finished. Part of the work of a counselor or sponsor is to coach the addict into recognizing the Red Flags as they appear in his or her behavior and how to communicate the Red Flag to another person, specifically his or her sponsor or counselor.
mp3 Downloads of Therapeutic Relaxation Music to the World
Modern technology now allows us to bring the power of therapeutic relaxation music to the world. The music that I create has one primary function, to relax a person and reduce the experience of stress. With the internet and the mp3 download program that we use, our therapeutic relaxation music can be transmitted to anyone who needs to experience a deep state of relaxation. In addition to the delivery of our therapeutic relaxation music through the internet, other professionals are starting to use our music to create their own audio health care products. The primary purpose of our musical creations is to help others to experience a deep state of relaxation. Once in this state the ability to transform their lives increases as the possibility of learning increases. We are more able to learn if we are relaxed and balanced as opposed to stressed out.
Notes on the Big Book - Bill's Story
Chapter One - Bill's Story

There appears to be a sense of feeling lonely for me and then the turn to alcohol for relief.

There is also the drive for success, to prove to someone and the world that I am important.

Alcohol eventually took an important and exhilarating part of my life. And as it did so my friends left, leaving me alone.

When I would drink a sense of empowerment and determination would appear and be experienced by me.

My work and employment were eventually affected by my actions and drinking.

Alcohol eventually became a necessity for me.

However, there was still a sense of control, of being able to control the alcohol.

Eventually my self will weakened with respect to alcohol.

Self knowledge is not the way to freedom.

Loneliness, despair and fear appear and are experienced by me as I drink.

“I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace and usefulness in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.”

Someone reached out to me.

Loss of hope was and had become apparent to me.

My Salvation rested on believing in a power greater than myself.

I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.

God does for us what we can not do for ourselves.

I soon realized that there must be an admission of complete defeat with respect to alcohol.

“Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.”

The concept or notion of God triggers our past, bringing up our experiences of what we refer to as religion, “vestiges of my old prejudice.”

We can choose our own conception of God.

It started from a mere willingness to believe in a power greater than myself.

With a belief in or a willingness to believe in God a “new world came into view.”

Our experience of a power greater than myself gets “blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself.”

“There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.”

When I had a problem or was in doubt I was to sit quietly and ask for God’s direction and strength to meet my problems.

I was never to pray for myself, “except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others.”

The work was to obtain a new relationship with my Creator, God. “Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honest and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.”

I had to give up my self-centeredness. I must turn it all over to God.

When I do so there will be a sense of victory, and a feeling of peace and serenity.

I must also be of help to others. They in turn may assist still others.

I must demonstrate this work and its principles in all my affairs.

Faith is critical, but “faith without works was dead.”

“Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now.”
Notes on the Big Book - More About Alcoholism
Chapter Three - More About Alcoholism

The first step in recovery, the admission that we are alcoholics. “We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics.”

Also, the admission that alcoholism is a progressive illness.
“Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.”

Sometimes we think that if we remain sober for awhile that later we can drink normally.

“If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.”

To determine if one is an alcoholic let him or her stop for one year. “If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success.”

The crux of the problem is the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking.

“What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink?”

“He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!”

“Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check.”

In some cases we get drunk, feeling totally justified by our being nervous, angry, worrying, being depressed, jealous or some other feeling.

Regardless, during this period there is little regard for the consequence of the drinking.

“But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self knowledge.”

Self-knowledge and will power will not work.

“They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink.”

“I saw that will power and self knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots.”

The answer is spiritual in nature, combined with a program of action.

“But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window.”

The true defense against the first drink “must come from a Higher Power.”
Notes on the Big Book - There is a Solution
Chapter Two - There is a Solution

The fellowship of AA exists. The bond to this fellowship, that which binds us, rests, in part, on our feeling of having shared a common peril.

However, that fact alone would not have keep us together.

The fact is that a common solution has been found.

One who has had the same problem of drinking can communicate with someone who is still actively engaged in the illness. Achieving a sense of relatedness is necessary to be of assistance. “Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplishd.”

Seeing past the sense of despair and hopelessness and to a real answer, is necessary for the active alcoholic. This can be created by the one who offers his or her help.

To stop drinking is merely the beginning of the work.

It is more important to demonstrate the principles of our work in our homes, work and daily affairs.

The work rests partially on being of services to others, depending “upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”

Even in the face of knowing that drinking could kill someone that person may drink anyway.

“Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it.”

A “real alcoholic” loses control of his liquor consumption once he starts to drink again.

This individual will create and build things and have a bright outlook only to destroy and pull the structure down upon himself.

“Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point os reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.”

The main problem of the alcoholic is in his mind, not his body. Asking one for a reason for his drinking will only produce a variety of reasons.

In truth, alcoholics do not really know why they drink. “Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it.”

Most alcoholics have lost their power of choice in drinking.

We forget the negative consequences of past drinking. We drink again.

Not getting that ones drinking always has negative consequences puts the individual at risk, at risk for dying or going permanently insane.

There is a solution, of self searching.

The solution is to eventuate in having a spiritual experience, in our establishing a close relationship with God.

We can either continue to drink or “accept spiritual help.”

“They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you.”

“We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.”

Forming or establishing a relationship with God is the solution.
Notes on the Big Book - We Agnostics
Chapter Four - We Agnostics

Only a spiritual experience will conquer the illness!

It is only in finding a spiritual basis for life and living that one can find freedom.

Human resources as sought for by our will were not sufficient.

The power that we needed had to be a Power greater than ourselves.

But where to find this Power?

The notion of God is now entertained.

For many the notion or concept of God is rather negative in nature. Much of this initial negative reaction is from his or her past.

“To others, the word ”God” brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely.”

What is important now is that we consider the notion of God, again. For this to happen we need to put our past conceptions of God where it belongs, in the past.

“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.”

It is our conception of God that matters.

“Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totally of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps.”

For me God is everything that exists or that does not exist.

To be connected, so to speak, with God is to experience true unity.

This is to be in and of the Presence of God.

But where does this Presence of God exist or reside?

“Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God.”

“We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.”

“Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.”
Notes on the Big Book – The Doctor’s Opinion
Taking into consideration a person’s body or physical condition is very important when considering the nature and treatment of an alcoholic, or a drug addict. While a solution will be gotten through the spiritual plane, it is absolutely necessary for an individual’s brain to be free or clear from alcohol. A person will have a better chance of understanding the conversation of recovery if his or her brain is free from alcohol. Detoxing from alcohol is one of the initial steps for the space for recovery to be created.

After the process of detoxing from alcohol is completed, a solution can begin to be created. This solution will require that if the individual's life is to be recreated that he or she must have their ideals "grounded in a power greater than themselves." This power greater than themselves is God.

Part of the solution involves altruistic effort on the part of the individual, a difficult tast to say the least. Doing for others with no thought or hope of getting anything back in return is fundamental to the process of recovery.

It is important to take a look at the sober state. Sober an alcoholic feels restless, irritable and discontented. To feel normal again, that individual believes that he or she must drink. Drinking lets the alcoholic feel a sense of ease and comfort, something that was missing in the sober state.

Once an alcoholic starts to drink and the cravings develop the individual passes through the "stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again." This process will be repeated over and over again unless the individual can have or experience what the Big Book refers to as an "entire psychic change." If the later does not happen the individual will probably continue to drink and there will be "little hope of his recovery."

Ultimately this psychic change can not be gotten through human power, through the efforts of another human being. In addition, change can not be created by the individual himself, through mental control. Something more is needed inorder to create that which is necessary to transform or change the alcoholic's life. This something more is God.

While an individual is working on having or creating an "entire psychic change," his or her drinking alcohol must stop completely. "The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence."

It appears that there is a connection between alcoholism and depression.
Positive Affirmations and the Recovery Process
As an addict's thought process is that which is in need of change, the use of affirmations can assist in the recovery process. About two years ago I created a positive affirmation CD, "Enhancing My Self Esteem" from my studying of Louise Hay's works. It got it that positive affirmation work and are even powerful for transforming our life. Given this new insight and knowledge I created the cd with fifty positive affirmations and began to use it in my work with addicts. The cd is about helping an addict change the negative self talk to one that is more positive in nature. If the addict listens to the cd consistently during his or her treatment and then after discharge for a period of time, he or she will begin to feel better about himself. The addict's self esteem will begin to rise, and with it the motivation to do the recovery work. While it is not a substitute for the recovery readings, it is a tool that the addict can use to support his recovery.
Power of Thought and Recovery
Those in recovery begin to transform their lives when they start to get the power of their thought. When they start to get that their thinking is the true cause of much of what they are experiencing. The difficulty for some in getting this, and using it, is that they have to begin to give up blame and start to assume responsibility for their life. The feel of success will keep them from transforming their life. The belief that they are not good enough will keep them from true transformation and happiness. When one believes that he or she is not good enough there will be no experience of a connection with God or spirit.
Practicing Patience for those in Recovery can make a difference.
Practicing Patience is part of the Daily Homework.

Practice patience daily! Remember that you are doing the best you can. At the moment that we do anything we do the best that we can. When you know more, you will do things differently. Remember to also do this in regards to others too.

Practicing patience is about acceptance. Acceptance of yourself. It is about accepting where you are and also, where you are not. We are doing the best that we can at any moment of our life. When we act or do something we are doing the best that we are capable of at that moment. While we may want to do things differently in the future and will do so with learning, accepting that we are doing the best at any moment allows us to avoid the harm created by guilt and as a result to begin to transform our life.

Furthermore, it is very liberating and freeing to practice patience with another person. They too are doing the best that they can, at any moment. Accepting that other people are doing the best that they can at any one moment allows us to not only connect with that person as to purpose in life but enable us to give up frustration and even anger towards them. With patience we can begin to transform our life through accepting another for who they are and who they are not.
Recovery and The Way of the Peaceful Warrior
The work of Dan Millman is very powerful for assisting one in transforming their lives. In my work at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program I introduce all of the clients to “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” both as a book and movie. Below are listed some of the distinctions that are presented in the movie. After the movie a discussion group is held to process these distinctions and how they may assist the clients in their recovery from drugs and alcohol.

1. Knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing something and Wisdom is doing it.

2. Highest purpose is for us to be of service to others.

3. “Take out the trash”. Trash the thoughts in your mind that keeps you out of the moment.

4. We are afraid of what is inside. The only place to find what you need is inside you. The experience of fear/being scared is about being empty.

5. Are you paying attention (to your addiction)?

6. What are you holding onto (that keeps you stuck in your addiction)? Who are you without your addiction? Practice of letting go of what you are holding onto that keeps you stuck. Give up your attachments.

7. “Not knowing” is the first principle of a Warrior. Getting this allows one to be and remain teachable, open to learning.

8. There are no ordinary moments. There is always something going on. Pay attention to the present or now.

9. Give up the Good-Bad, Right-Wrong way of thinking about yourself and others.

10. Happiness is about your journey and not the destination.

Misc

XML Feeds

RSS 0.92: Posts, Comments
RSS 1.0: Posts, Comments
RSS 2.0: Posts, Comments
Atom: Posts, Comments

What is RSS?

Enhanced Healing Blog by Dr. Harry Henshaw

mp3 Downloads of Therapeutic Relaxation Music to the World

04/11/08

mp3 Downloads of Therapeutic Relaxation Music to the World

Pingbacks:

Enhanced Healing Blog by Dr. Harry Henshaw

Search

Categories

Archives

Linkblog

Recovery from Drugs and Alcohol

Misc

XML Feeds

Who's Online?