You have never been there yet!

Assisting people in altering the course of their life sometimes amounts to helping them to create a possibility that was not there before. One such possibility can be found with a person who experiences fear and stress with the thought of going back to be with a particular person, a place where they came from and or certain situations and circumstances. Unsure of how they will be able to cope with or handle a particular person, a place or situation they tend to experience in some cases a great deal of stress, anxiety and fear, especially as the reality of the situation draws closer. While the individual will most likely have to make certain changes in his or her life, one transforming thought that can help them to act, do and be different is to get the fact that they have never been where they are going. Everything for them is new, brand new. In a literal sense, it will be a new experience.

One person I knew had invested two years of his life in transforming who he had been being. When he had made the decision to return to his three children and wife he started to experience a great deal of stress and worry. All he could remember was how it had been, what the past was like and now he was starting to think about or even doubt whether he could handle what he was going back to. In a conversation with him I suggested that he consider the idea or thought that he had never been to his home town,to his family, that it was all brand new. Part of the conversation involved an explanation of how the physical world had altered itself many times over and that in a very real sense what he was “returning” to had been gone for along time, for at least the two years he had been away. Once he allowed himself to consider the idea, that is, the possibility of it, that there was no returning, only a going to something new, he was able to create the space necessary to create his life the way that he wanted and that was in alignment with his recovery.

To not get this transforming idea is to continue to live in the past or at least have the past influence if not determine how they will be, and even, who they will be. The reality is that we are always moving into something new, never back to, always forward. If we don’t get it and apply it that which we are moving into will be a replay of the past. The past will keep being recreated as our future, being lived in the present. Remember, you have never been there yet!

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